As I write to you, it is apparently prom night for one of the nearby high schools; prompting the hoards of suited up people pouring into the house next door, who are letting out screams and etc. What a bore. Some person is trying to park next to the slightly curved median and is failing quite well. Ah. I see now he is a shaggy haired 13 year old lookalike driving his aquamarine-clad girlfriend to this shindig that is occurring. But I digress. Forgive me for said digression, such menial observations are way more fun to think about than paying attention to my extremely sore body.
Because on Wednesday, I attended Booty Camp Fitness with my mother, her colleague, and my merry little bunch of friends. Huh. So that was, like, the worst idea of the century..
My body is currently screaming: “WHYYYYYYYY!!! WHY STEPHANIE WHYYYY!?!?!?” at the top of its lungs. It’s pissed because it can’t walk up or down stairs, sit down, stand up, roll over, kneel or walk without being in intense amounts of pain. As I went to the library for the third time this week to retrieve the last of Curtis Sittenfeld’s books, a man who was sitting on the grass gave me the most puzzled of expressions. I believe this would be because I WAS LIMPING LIKE A LITTLE OLD LADY! Not that I have anything against the way little old ladies walk, it’s just I think it’s before my time, you know?
Anyhow, let me tell you a little about this Booty Camp, because I know you’re dying to hear.
- You have to sign a waiver before you participate.
- It’s held outside in a field, rain or shine, next to a catholic school that my mom puked behind after the class..
- The instructor is a perfectly toned, pink-camoflauge-wearing, blond firefighter (of course).
- The only redeeming factor about the class is..huh. Presumably the far-off and very painful-to-reach goal of weight loss and muscle building. But. Yeah.
- It mainly consists of repetitions of hellish exercises specially formulated to cause the utmost pain possible, interspersed with downright-impossible drills, the occasional water break, and, worst of all, runs to the end of the field and back!!
Ah yes, I am just bitter because it kicked my ass. It kicked it hard. It truly seems to be a beneficial program for some, and definitely provides the motivation necessary to force yourself to do 40 squats in a row and enough pushups to provoke tears. If you’re looking for quick results, and ideally have a job that requires sitting down all day (at least for the first week or so) then go for it!
The woman who ran it was actually a total sweetheart. She was intense, but nice. I don’t hate her for the pain I’m feeling. It’s an obvious sign that I’m out of shape, or something. And while I really hate this crippling sensation that I’m dealing with, I will admit that I’ll be glad if it does end up building muscle. In the very least, I have discovered a few new exercises that I can work into my exercise regime in the coming weeks.
It was definitely a funny, grueling and intense experience, but for now I’ll stick to my step class and my yoga.
all my loving..
Edit: If you’ve tried this program, look in the comments section for some tips on alleviating the muscle soreness! One of the representatives of Booty Camp Fitness very kindly left some advice for all those out-of-shape people like me. :) Thanks Lisa!