Happy Valentine’s Day
So that dreaded, happy, lovey day is rapidly approaching. I thought I’d preface the event by giving my opinion on the matter.
Get over yourselves.
Now before you interpret this in a way as to make you like me less, hear me out. I’M TALKING TO ALL OF YOU. EVERYONE. All you single girls who decide to wallow in self-pity (as if you need a special day to do this..); all you single guys who hate it because, let’s face it, who are you going to wheel on Valentine’s Day? ..Okay I retract that last statement. But there’s a good chance they might start crying halfway through the hookup. Just saying. And I’m also talking to you, you self-righteous couples who (for lack of a better word) smother everyone around you with stories about V-day plans, and then afterwards the stories of how those plans went. Bow chicka wah ow. (Also to you companies, you Hallmarks and restaurants: I know you won’t change, but you get crazier about little holidays every year. Chillllll.)
Again, don’t judge. I’ve been on both sides of the Valentine’s Day showdown. I’m single now, but I’ve had my share of coupled up Valentine’s. I’m sure my friends were burning holes into my face that I couldn’t process cause I was too lovey dovey. So I’ve felt both ways. Valentine’s day is definitely a love-hate relationship for just about anyone.
So take it from me. Here’s the take-home message kids: everyone just needs to cool their jets. Single people: shut up. Couples: shut up. At least a little bit. Nobody wants to have it smushed in their face that they’re not going to be eating chocolate covered strawberries in a bubble bath with some hot guy called something manly like Vladomir. But guess what? Nobody wants to listen to you whine and complain about how you’re alone, and how you should eat ice cream. (By the way: who needs a reason to eat ice cream???) Ooh I just thought of something good (since, of course, couples will still gush and singles will still whine): only talk to those in your situation. Problem solved.
I want to leave you with some Valentine’s Day suggestions on how to make it the best possible day for you, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in.
-For Heaven’s sake, don’t watch a romcom, don’t torture yourself like that. INSTEAD (!!) watch an escapist film, to get your mind off of it. Like Avatar. Or Harry Potter.
-Stay away from places where couples frolick. They’re especially torturous on the day of. Actually, I would advocate staying in on Valentine’s Day if you’re single. Think about it. Where are you going to go? Out for dinner? Nope. Movies? Hell no. Random street at midday? The worst. Stay inside! Don’t remind yourself of your situation.
-Celebrate being single. Do all of the things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were in a couple. Like read in bed, write poems, sing songs noisily, keep your room exactly as messy as you want to, be antisocial, spend hours watching silly tv shows or surfing the internet. Turn out the light when you feel like it. Oh yeah. Watch whatever movie you feel like! Yep, that’s the life.
-Stay positive when around other singles. Try to change the subject when it turns to wallowing in despair. I know this is difficult, very challenging. But you musn’t speak of it! It’ll only make you feel worse. Instead, focus on having a good night anyways. Cook a delicious meal with your friends and have girltalk. No romantic interests allowed.
-For the love of cheese, please be creative! Seriously. Doesn’t everyone get sick of cooking dinner/going out for dinner/watching movies/going out to the movies? Do something sweet and special. Maybe something you’ve been talking about doing for a while, but never did. Like go rent bikes and take a ride, make breakfast in bed together and watch cartoons, read out loud for eachother (Stop laughing Billy. Seriously.), make music together, go to a museum, have sex somewhere crazy. Do the last one.
-Do something really nice for your partner. That’s really what Valentine’s Day is all about, appreciating the other person. (May I point out that you do have 364 other days that you really should be doing this, but hey, complain to Hallmark). I don’t think that chocolates and flowers and sex always cut it. Okay that’s incorrect. They do always cut it, but you’re better than that! Leave a scavenger hunt! Hide secret notes in all their pockets before they leave. Once, when I borrowed my boyfriend’s cd, I wrote little notes about each of the songs and lyrics on postits and gave him back the cd without telling him. I didn’t think much of it, and it took him a couple months to find, but he loved it more than anything. And that’s cause it took effort. Play him a song, heck, write him a song. Do something meaningful. Isn’t everyone over the commercialness by now? I know I am.
-Don’t get too worked up about having the perfect Valentine’s Day. There’s no such thing. Stop with the intense plans, it only leads to certain disappointment. Make it clear at the beginning of the day that yes, you plan on having a lovely love-filled day, but in the end, it’s about spending it together. Not about how much you spend.
I hope I haven’t convinced you by now that I’m rooting for either team. (But how bout them Saints, eh?) I’ve been part of both. It happens that this year I’m playing for Team Single and I plan on having a wonderful time. Me and my friends are in fact cooking a delicious dinner together (replete with pillsbury crescents, no big or anything) and probably a How I Met Your Mother marathon. I’m not bitter or sad about it though. Sure, I may be lonely sometimes, but hey, if I had a boyfriend I couldn’t always write blog posts at 2 in the morning, now could I? Not always. Truth is, there’s benefits to both teams. There are things I love about being single, and things I love about being taken. No pun intended :).