So that dreaded, happy, lovey day is rapidly approaching. I thought I’d preface the event by giving my opinion on the matter.
Get over yourselves.
Now before you interpret this in a way as to make you like me less, hear me out. I’M TALKING TO ALL OF YOU. EVERYONE. All you single girls who decide to wallow in self-pity (as if you need a special day to do this..); all you single guys who hate it because, let’s face it, who are you going to wheel on Valentine’s Day? ..Okay I retract that last statement. But there’s a good chance they might start crying halfway through the hookup. Just saying. And I’m also talking to you, you self-righteous couples who (for lack of a better word) smother everyone around you with stories about V-day plans, and then afterwards the stories of how those plans went. Bow chicka wah ow. (Also to you companies, you Hallmarks and restaurants: I know you won’t change, but you get crazier about little holidays every year. Chillllll.)
Again, don’t judge. I’ve been on both sides of the Valentine’s Day showdown. I’m single now, but I’ve had my share of coupled up Valentine’s. I’m sure my friends were burning holes into my face that I couldn’t process cause I was too lovey dovey. So I’ve felt both ways. Valentine’s day is definitely a love-hate relationship for just about anyone.
So take it from me. Here’s the take-home message kids: everyone just needs to cool their jets. Single people: shut up. Couples: shut up. At least a little bit. Nobody wants to have it smushed in their face that they’re not going to be eating chocolate covered strawberries in a bubble bath with some hot guy called something manly like Vladomir. But guess what? Nobody wants to listen to you whine and complain about how you’re alone, and how you should eat ice cream. (By the way: who needs a reason to eat ice cream???) Ooh I just thought of something good (since, of course, couples will still gush and singles will still whine): only talk to those in your situation. Problem solved.
I want to leave you with some Valentine’s Day suggestions on how to make it the best possible day for you, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in.
For Singles:
-For Heaven’s sake, don’t watch a romcom, don’t torture yourself like that. INSTEAD (!!) watch an escapist film, to get your mind off of it. Like Avatar. Or Harry Potter.
-Stay away from places where couples frolick. They’re especially torturous on the day of. Actually, I would advocate staying in on Valentine’s Day if you’re single. Think about it. Where are you going to go? Out for dinner? Nope. Movies? Hell no. Random street at midday? The worst. Stay inside! Don’t remind yourself of your situation.
-Celebrate being single. Do all of the things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were in a couple. Like read in bed, write poems, sing songs noisily, keep your room exactly as messy as you want to, be antisocial, spend hours watching silly tv shows or surfing the internet. Turn out the light when you feel like it. Oh yeah. Watch whatever movie you feel like! Yep, that’s the life.
-Stay positive when around other singles. Try to change the subject when it turns to wallowing in despair. I know this is difficult, very challenging. But you musn’t speak of it! It’ll only make you feel worse. Instead, focus on having a good night anyways. Cook a delicious meal with your friends and have girltalk. No romantic interests allowed.
For Couples:
-For the love of cheese, please be creative! Seriously. Doesn’t everyone get sick of cooking dinner/going out for dinner/watching movies/going out to the movies? Do something sweet and special. Maybe something you’ve been talking about doing for a while, but never did. Like go rent bikes and take a ride, make breakfast in bed together and watch cartoons, read out loud for eachother (Stop laughing Billy. Seriously.), make music together, go to a museum, have sex somewhere crazy. Do the last one.
-Do something really nice for your partner. That’s really what Valentine’s Day is all about, appreciating the other person. (May I point out that you do have 364 other days that you really should be doing this, but hey, complain to Hallmark). I don’t think that chocolates and flowers and sex always cut it. Okay that’s incorrect. They do always cut it, but you’re better than that! Leave a scavenger hunt! Hide secret notes in all their pockets before they leave. Once, when I borrowed my boyfriend’s cd, I wrote little notes about each of the songs and lyrics on postits and gave him back the cd without telling him. I didn’t think much of it, and it took him a couple months to find, but he loved it more than anything. And that’s cause it took effort. Play him a song, heck, write him a song. Do something meaningful. Isn’t everyone over the commercialness by now? I know I am.
-Don’t get too worked up about having the perfect Valentine’s Day. There’s no such thing. Stop with the intense plans, it only leads to certain disappointment. Make it clear at the beginning of the day that yes, you plan on having a lovely love-filled day, but in the end, it’s about spending it together. Not about how much you spend.
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I hope I haven’t convinced you by now that I’m rooting for either team. (But how bout them Saints, eh?) I’ve been part of both. It happens that this year I’m playing for Team Single and I plan on having a wonderful time. Me and my friends are in fact cooking a delicious dinner together (replete with pillsbury crescents, no big or anything) and probably a How I Met Your Mother marathon. I’m not bitter or sad about it though. Sure, I may be lonely sometimes, but hey, if I had a boyfriend I couldn’t always write blog posts at 2 in the morning, now could I? Not always. Truth is, there’s benefits to both teams. There are things I love about being single, and things I love about being taken. No pun intended :).
xoxo, Steph.
No seriously, that’s my Jung Typology score: ENFP, Champion. Take the test here and be honest! Then go here to read about yourself/your possible careers/famous people with the same type. Mine’s very accurate about my strengths and my weaknesses. I’ve done it with a few friends and they got very (scarily) accurate profiles. For example, my friend Brendan got the Napolean type personality, which could not be more true. :)
I’d like to post this list I found while surfing the internet sometime in the past few weeks. I typically save all the bookmarks I like to my Delicious account, and then look at the various ones whenever I’m bored. It’s a list from Healthmoneysuccess.com about the differences between winners and losers. It’s a good reminder to me of what I am striving to be in my life. It’s also motivation and relief: it lets me know that comparing myself to others is useless, especially if they are acting like ‘losers’ anyways! Take a look:
| Winners | Losers | |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Winners focus on solutions. | Losers focus on problems. |
| 2 | Winners take responsibility. | Losers blame others. |
| 3 | Winners find opportunities in crisis. | Losers complain about crisis. |
| 4 | Winners enjoy being in the present and learn from the past. | Losers live in the past. |
| 5 | Winners make commitment and keep them no matter what. | Losers make promises that they always break. |
| 6 | Winners think about how they can achieve. | Losers give excuses. |
| 7 | Winners make personal development a priority. | Losers neglect personal development. |
| 8 | Winners face their fear, accept it and take the leap. | Losers dwell in their fear. |
| 9 | Winners constantly expand their comfort zone. | Losers stay in their comfort zone. |
| 10 | Winners take action consistently. | Losers refrain from taking action and lack consistency. |
| 11 | Winners take failure in their stride and learn from them. | Losers fear failure and avoid them at all cost. |
| 12 | Winners try different strategies when they are not getting the results they want. | Losers do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. |
| 13 | Winners set goals. | Losers lack goals. |
| 14 | Winners plan. | Losers hate having a plan. |
| 15 | Winners believe there are always things to be learn. | Losers consider themselves as an expert even though they know little. |
| 16 | Winners are humble. | Losers are egoistic. |
| 17 | Winners continue to hone their skill every other day without fail. | Losers make little effort in honing their skill. |
| 18 | Winners work hard. | Losers avoid work. |
| 19 | Winners give their best for the things that they decide to do. | Losers work half heartedly in everything that they do. |
| 20 | Winners are persistent and will do whatever it takes (ethical means) to achieve their goal. | Losers give up when obstacles pop up. |
| 21 | Winners manage their time well and indulge in high value activities that will bring them closer to their goals. | Losers lack time management skills and indulge in time wasting activities like playing games and watching re runs for the umpteen time. |
| 22 | Winners dream in the day. | Losers dream in bed. |
| 23 | Winners think about possibilities. | Losers focus on obstacles that will stop them from achieving. |
| 24 | Winners are certain. | Losers doubt. |
| 25 | Winners control their own destiny. | Losers leave everything to their fate. |
| 26 | Winners give more than they take. | Losers take more than they give. |
| 27 | Winners think whether the crowd is going in the right direction. If not, he will walk the other direction. | Losers follow the crowd. |
| 28 | Winners think and lead. | Losers refuse to think so they follow. |
| 29 | Winners listen. | Losers fight for every chance to talk. |
| 30 | Winners always find a better way to do things. | Losers stick to one way of doing things. |
| 31 | Winners spend money in seminars and classes to improve themselves. | Losers think that spending money on seminars and classes is a waste of money and they prefer to buy toys that gives them instant gratification. |
| 32 | Winners help others to win. | Losers refuse to help and think only about their own benefit. |
| 33 | Winners find like minded people like themselves that can bring them to greater height. | Losers find like minded people like themselves that will drag them to failure. |
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Isn’t that a good list? I think so. I’ve definitely got to keep that in mind.
Love you all, S.
I’m sort of in a mood, and I don’t feel like writing. But I definitely feel like posting. So here’s my happy medium for you. I’ll repost a Facebook note that I wrote last March: that 25 things one. It’s not anything newly written, which feels kind of cheap, but please deal with it because I really don’t feel like putting any real effort in at the moment. Enjoy! (ps. most of it is still true.)
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Well..everyone else was doing it. So now I will inform you of twenty five things about myself that no one knows/are interesting/come to my mind sporadically. :) Let’s begin.
1. If you come to spend a little while at my house at peak times of the day/evening, you will notice an abnormal amount of RINGING. We have five individual telephones, two phone lines and a fax machine. And since my mom gets tons of faxes from her clients, the phone literally rings every five minutes. It can get annoying.
2. I think that the smell receptors in my nose are a little messed up. I think this because everytime I smell my dogs feet (or am near enough to smell them lmao) I invariably smell popcorn. Another example: I have a terrific mint bodywash that I adore, but both my sisters think it stinks..I think my nose may be wired wrong.
3. Me and my two sisters could not be more different. Together, we make up the three teenage stereotypes: B is dark and reclusive, L is perky and preppy, and I..well I’m not sure what I am. But it leads to some colourful dinner conversation.
4. I love to look at other people’s clothes. I adore The Sartorialist and lookbook and check them multi times daily. Other people inspire me more than anything else.
5. I love to make small talk with small business owners, waiters, shop clerks and salespeople. I like to become their friends. This is also kind of odd, considering that I am scared stiff of calling strangers on the phone or asking fast-food attendants, receptionists, etc for things. I’m not sure where the difference is.
6. I grew up thinking that I couldn’t do a single pushup. But then due to the wonders of sleep deprivation and adrenaline, this summer I performed a total of 39 pushups in a row for the L&V pushup competition. I shocked myself!
7. I am obsessed with Wiifit. Especially the yoga. It is stellar. My trainers name is Brad.
8. Everytime I log onto my computer, I take a picture on Photobooth. I am loosely trying to do that thing where that guy took a picture of himself every day for a year and observed what changed. But really, I just get sort of carried away and take two or three.
9. My favourite foods include: anything texmex, Skittles, new! Fruit-to-go fruit and veggie snacks, ketchup chips, guacomole, pie, honey crisp apples, cashews, bread (mmm), vanilla soy milk, pumpkin-cranberry bread, shrimp! I have a gigantic sweet tooth.
10. I am terrible, absolutely terrible at mental math. Embarassingly so.
11. I take extreme and unashamed advantage of the public library website. I put all sorts of movies and books on hold and then go in and pick them up under my name in like two minutes! It is terrific. I feel bad for the library staff though because half the time I forget to go in and pick them up and then I’ve wasted their time. SORRY! :)
12. My latest favourite music over the past month or so is selected songs from the Slumdog soundtrack. I enjoy dancing around to all of the songs in my room. Bollywood style.
13. My sister and I have a nasty tradition of watching crap tv together. Latest favourites: Double Shot at Love (with the icky twins) and G’s to Gents. It’s so bad because I walk in and immediately hate it, but she makes me stay, and then you fall in love with the characters and it’s all downhill from there.
14. I love love love to read. When I work, I just kind of patrol the shelves looking for stuff to read. I currently have a large pile of books I want to read but will probably never get around to. (example: I own The Origin of Species. I bought it. Yeah. Not going to read it..) And yet I keep buying/borrowing more. Bleh. I also label them in order of future reading. But sometimes I mix it up. Yes, I have a system.
15. I adore playing the piano and my guitar, and I wish I was better. I always mean to practice, and then I forget and it’s terrible really.
16. I am obsessed with sticky notes. No joke. You should see my bedroom. Actually, you shouldn’t because I’m embarrassed about the number of sticky notes on every available surface. Reminders, yes, but also motivational nonsense and hilarious things like “Pick up your guitar today!!” (in reference to #15..)
17. I love CD’s. I don’t care that I have an iPod and most of my music is digital, there’s still nothing like opening a CD, looking at the booklet (yay pictures) and listening to it straight through the first time.
18. I cry often. Quite frequently actually. Like middle-aged woman style. At episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
19. I love love love fruit. Clementines, apples, pineapple, raspberries..all fruit rocks. Ps. I think tomatoes count as fruit and I adore tomatoes. Especially baby ones. We have a baby tomato plant in our backyard and in summer it gives so many you can just sit there and eat them. Not that I do.
20. I am obsessed with trailers. Actually most of my friends are too. It’s crazyness. It’s most of why we ever go to the theatres. To see the trailers. I lurk them online. I just love them. And they’re almost always (90% of the time) better than the movie.
21. I’m moody. A person of extremes. Mercurial.. Just ask Mike. It can sometimes cause some drama drama. But I’m mostly a happy person! I think.
22. Sometimes I like to memorize raps. Bon Qui Qui, Eminem, Drive Thru Rap, Tetris. I do it all! Love that rap business.
23. Listen up folks. Don’t let Vince fool you. The ShamWOW is not a miracle. I promise. As a joke gift, my mom got us shamWOWs for Christmas. Many of them. Actually, just to be sure, I think I’ll conduct some experiments with it this weekend. But from experience, the commercial is better. :)
24. I’m a klutz and a slob. I spill on my clothes, I trip over nothing, I fall down the main stairs of the school..that was a bad day. Sometimes I can keep it together. but not always. One memorable moment: walking down Queen St, a male model was standing in the MAC window getting painted. He was hot. I fell over a vespa. He laughed in my face. End of story.
25. No matter what I put, it will be disappointing since this is the LAST ONE and it has to be good. So I won’t put anything. Oh. Perhaps I will say this: I overthink things constantly.
:)
Good morning my loves, I’ve been a few days in posting. My sincerest apologies to Billy, who happens to be my blog’s biggest fan. :) I’d also like to take a second to welcome one of my best friends to the blogosphere. I’ve been going to school with Kyle since I was in the first grade, and I love him with all of my heart. If’ you’re into hockey or metrosexual men, check out his blog here: Kovalchuk and Kyle.
In other news, I got a wicked grade on my chemistry midterm I had last night. In an act of sheer humanity, our professor posted all the answer keys to each of the versions online minutes after the exam. If you were as lucky as I am to have a memory of steel for test answers, you already know your grade. I am very pleased with myself. I am starting to learn how much I need to study and when to start, also. In the last couple days before the exam I felt a little more relaxed than some people around me, and started worrying that I should be studying more. But it turns out that I studied the exact right amount to still get a very respectable grade. It’s a relief that I can trust my judgement.
Question for you: are you going to see either Dear John or Valentine’s Day? These movies must be goldmines to the studios, because who don’t you market towards? Everyone loves love, and those that don’t are simply pining to be in love. Exhibit A: Me. So I know that I already have plans to watch Dear John in theatres this Friday, and probably watch Valentine’s Day on my bed eating chocolate ice cream in the near future. I’m a giant sap, whatever. (For future reference, if you watch the trailer for Valentine’s Day, I’m Jessica Biel. Sometimes. Only not a total goddess.) I’ve decided something important though. And please pay attention, because this really is important.
Never settle.
Never apologize.
Do you understand me! I’m serious now. I am begging you to not lower your standards, chase boys around fruitlessly, obsess over stupid things that are actually nothing but your friends love you too much to break your heart and tell you. You’re beautiful, and awesome, and funny, and perfect for somebody. So yeah, you might have a chance with some sub-par boy/girl, or maybe just one that isn’t quite right for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it. Especially not if it’s just the loneliness deciding. I had this extreme revelation this morning while making my bed. It’s very important and I don’t want any of you selling yourselves short, you hear?
In Other Other News
- I have a few invites left on Google Wave, but it’s kind of lonely in there, so if you want one, let me know!
- Laura let me in on a really great landscape and nature photographer, Dominic Kamp. Check him out.
- Newest obsession: getting design ideas for next year when I can decorate my own apartment! Apartment Therapy has really awesome house tours of the most adorable places.
- I’m helping my friend Adrienne out with a piece she’s writing on awesome, greasy spoon, 24 hour breakfast joints. I’m going to act as her photographer whenever I can. Stay tuned for my shots and maybe a link to the online piece!
- If you haven’t gone, GO. Witness the amazing, phenomenal, intelligent and deserving Oscar Nominations. Then watch as many of those bad boys as you can before March 7. That’s the dream.
- Choose one of these to sign up for, and sign up! They’re all awesome. Twitter, Evernote, StumbleUpon, Delicious, MindMeister.
- Check out this new MTV Show: The Buried Life. It’s about four (really cute) guys who drive around in a purple bus and try to cross things like ‘Ask out Megan Fox’ and ‘Party at Playboy’ off their life lists. They also help strangers do things off their lists. It’s a feel good, funny, sexy show.
- Eat some pickles
- Listen to some Lady Gaga
- Make music, love, dancing or conversation.
I love you all. Have a wonderful day.
xoxo, Steph
“And I promise you kid, that I’ll give so much more than I get..I just haven’t met you yet.”
Thanks for that inspirational quote Michael Bublé, it’s exactly the tone I want this post to have. Here’s my best shot at an open letter to my future soulmate. Or does it work like that? Maybe it’s not a future soulmate per se, I suppose they’re already my soulmate, and I just haven’t met them yet. Ahh, I see where he was going with that. Kay.
Dear you,
How’s it going. Hope your life is going well. Obviously it’s not, because we haven’t met each other yet, but since I only want the best for you, I can hope. Soo, what are you up to? Doing things that will one day become stories to tell me as we fall in love, I bet. I wonder what such things are. Are you a sporty guy? Maybe a nerd. I kinda like nerds. Maybe you’re a big drinker, total womanizer. Maybe it’s my destiny to tame you! Huh. Well it doesn’t really matter what you are, does it? Cause we’re soul mates anyways so, I mean, there’s no escaping whatever you are, is there?
But that’s cool. Whatever you are, that’s cool. Lemme let you in on why I’m writing: I would like to meet you already. Yeah. I would. I’m lonely, and I want you here tonight to fall asleep with. I might be having a lazy-comfy night, meaning I’m just wearing my Dad’s old clothes (okay who am I kidding, that’s every night), but regardless I know you don’t care. It’s just one of those nights that I wish I had you in my life, soul mate. It’s like when you come home and you just want to fall down on the floor and cry, or when you don’t even really need to talk about anything in particular but you need someone there to talk to that’s not your mom, or when you feel like doing something couply, like picnics or scenic walks up snowy mountains. You gotta have someone there for that. And who better than you, soul mate? Ah, that’s right. Nobody.
So, I’m guessing you might be lonely also. But then again, maybe not. Maybe you’re getting laid. That would suck. Yeah that would suck a lot. I mean come on, my soul mate is getting laid and I’M NOT? Wtf universe, uncool. Maybe I’m sitting here updating my blog in bed after a How I Met Your Mother marathon, drinking water and going to bed at a reasonable(ish) hour, and you’re off having sooo much fun. What kind of soul mate are you anyways? Unimportant. I’m just sassy cause I wanna just meet you already. I’ve been single for a long-ass time now and I’m ready for that change. I’m ready to make a commitment again. I want somebody there to rant to and laugh with and listen to. I mean, no offense love of my life, but it doesn’t even have to be you yet. I mean, you could wait a while, I guess, I mean I don’t really know how my life works out. I could meet you now or in ten years or any other denomination of time. I’m not sure of my fate with you as of now. So I don’t know. Here’s something you should know, lover, I really hate not knowing things.
I like knowing the end of suspenseful movies, I like plans, I like schedules. I’m just funny like that. So, if you’d give me an ETA that’d be great. I’ll slot you in, show up when I need to and bam, you KNOW it’s on.
Kay fine, I know. It doesn’t work like that. You’re going to waltz into my life one day when I least expect it, and somehow, some way, we’ll get together. And no matter how it happens it’ll be a funny story, or a sweet one. And then we can have snugglefests, breakfast parties for two, study sessions, dinner-cooking, and I adore reading aloud. Please please like listening to reading aloud! (Yeah, aware it’s a long shot but hey isn’t that kind of in your job description? Just saying..) Oh and believe me, in between all that we would have a gooooood time, if you know what I mean. (Dance parties, what else? C’mon you guys..get it together.)
Anyways, when you read this once we’ve found each other it’ll be pretty darn funny. You know what’s even funnier. I actually can’t imagine you. I don’t have any idea what you’re like, or if you even exist. WHAT IF YOU DON’T EXIST. Okay well I kind of have faith that you do, but even so it’s hard to imagine being that happy. Because to be honest, I would be ecstatic. I’m more of a couples person anyways.
I love you forever, soul mate. (Weird, feels so so weird..) Can’t wait to meet you.
xoxo, S.
I get by. Honestly, if not for my friends, how would I get through my drunken & sober ‘existential crises’ as I’ve dubbed them. I doubt that I would. But luckily I know the kind of people that will hug me no matter what, scream bloody murder at the wind and cold, do body shots off my wrist to make us all giggle, dance all night, make funny faces in the bar mirror, talk me out of my rut and sit with me whenever I’m feeling blue. Special shout out to Billy and Shosh last night, you guys are lifesavers.
Last night, the crisis went a little something like this: “I’m-such-a-stick-in-the-mud-and-I’m-never-going-to-have-any-fun-and-I’ll-just-be-old-and-boring-and-nobody’s-ever-really-happy-and-I’ll-never-find-my-soulmate-and-nobody-likes-me”. Funny how drunk, in a dark bar it can seem so real and scary but out here in the morning sunlight it seems so stupid. I’m always in a rush. I gotta slow down and enjoy the barf on the table, the impromptu conversations, the compliments from strangers, the amazing music, the dodging of pesky suitors, the dancing. Gotta remember the little things.
Anywho, we had a good night. It was supposed to be a karaoke/bubble tea/green tea ice cream/xbox/arcade games/dance floor bar, (I know right) but it was closed POO. And in Chinatown so we did a sad thing. We walked in the probably -30 with windchill weather to a pizza place, then to a bar with popcorn, and then finally Korova’s. It was good to split it up into pitstops, definitely. It was overall a really fun night, I took major steps towards actualization of my mini-epiphany that I blogged about before. I just keep repeating this mantra over and over: I’m doing this for me. And it worked yesterday! I did some things without worrying about them too much, I tried to do it for me as much as possible. I’m lucky I have such supportive friends in this, although when I told Lindsay and Shosh, they didn’t understand what I had been doing before. I love them.
Today I plan to get a lot of miscellaneous work done and start studying my little booty off for this midterm we have on Wednesday, I need to study! I’m very nervous but I’m sure it will get pulled together last minute as always. I only wish I didn’t still have a lab report and physics assignment to do on top of studying. BLAH.
Well that’s all my darlings, see you soon
xo, s.
..about how much I care what other people think. It’s one of my worst traits, in my opinion, and generally it can’t be helped. I can’t stop myself. Every morning when I wake up, I’m not dressing for me, I’m dressing for them. I don’t even know who they are. The world. I think I may be making progress on this identity crisis thing when I say: the root of my problems is my lack of personal strength.
Now I don’t mean to say that I’m not strong, I am. I’ve been through some tough things in my life, as has everyone. I mean that I don’t always draw my strength from within. What I should be doing is relying heavily on myself for my problems, issues, attitude. Instead, I choose to base my mood partially off of what other people say to me. It’s not fully this way, all the time, but somewhat, a little too much for my liking. I don’t like the thought that somebody else has the power to make me feel something. What’s that Eleanor? Yeah, I know that nobody can make us feel small without our permission but hey. It’s not always that easy, kay? Kay.
I just feel like I’m in this tiny little box, and so many people around me are lying on top of their boxes, sprawled out and happy in the sun, showing their quirky, strange, creative side. It’s like I haven’t given myself permission to be creative, with all of these people watching. This blog for instance. I thought I wanted more views. More people coming to see it. And you know why? Because that would mean something about me, that would make me happy to know that people cared. It would make me joyous to see a comment, or a large spike in page views. But you know what? That’s wrong, and completely stupid. If I’m writing this blog only for other people, I shouldn’t be doing it. If I’m writing it only for the attention or praise I’ll get, I shouldn’t be doing it. No, the only reason I should be doing it is if it makes me happy, all on its own. And it does. But I think I really need to stop caring what other people are going to think when they read it. What do I care what they think? This is my therapy, not theirs. If they want something different, they can go write a blog.
Today, as I took off my absolutely adorable jacket, I actually found myself wondering if anyone had said anything nice about it. For a split second, before I smacked myself, I was about to weigh the jacket’s worth based on what other people thought of it. I stopped myself as I realized something really important. I don’t give a horse’s ass what anyone else thinks of it. Not even a little. Because when I wear clothes, I should be wearing them for ME and me alone. And guess what? I felt damn good, slim and adorable in that adorable jacket all the adorable day. I gave myself a good talking to and really had a mini-epiphany while standing there in my closet.
Here’s the epiphany, in short form: “I’m doing this for me.” That was it, the whole thing. Pretty mini, huh? I just mean that at the end of the day, I’m alone. I will spend much more time alone than I will with any other person in my life, and that makes me the most important person in my life. So guess what? I’m doing it for me. I’m doing it all for me. What makes me happy? I’m going to do whatever it is. I’m going to dress for me, talk for me, do whatever feels right to ME. It’s time to start living to make myself happy (and others I haven’t gone completely narcissistic, I’m just being symbolic here) because that’s what counts. I need to stop living my life trying to please others, it just doesn’t work like that.
And to end on a similar note, I’m giving myself the permission I apparently need to stop caring what other people think and be as creative and quirky and strange as I like. Because I like it. So there.
Take that, world.
I stumbled upon this on tumblr, and I think it is so meaningful. I, like a lot of people around me, am trying to figure out how to live and am having a hard time of it. I think this passage offers some insight into what is really important. It inspires me to want to be better.
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“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…
Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.”
I really can’t do without sleep. I CAN’T DO IT. When other people don’t get enough sleep, how do you feel? Tired? Yawny, sleepy, headachey, blah? Well I feel like DEATH. I’m serious. It’s not fun and it’s not funny. I feel like I’m about to die at any moment, probably because of some psychological mindset that constantly tells me that sleep is the most crucial, primitive thing ever and I’d be a stupid, evolutionarily-challenged twit if I didn’t sleep lots. Here’s an interesting article I found about the importance of naps. I am starting to love naps. I sometimes often wake up and plan when during the day I will be able to nap. So no, I really can’t do without sleep.
I really can’t live without (non-materially): my friends, family, food (for not just survival reasons, but sanity also), making lists, reading, writing. I take advantage of each of these things daily (oh em gee I make lists compulsively..) and it keeps me alive. All the other things in my life are second to the enjoyment I get from the things on this list. I can’t live without them!
I really can’t live without (materially): my computer, my camera, my notebooks. Oh and my Coco Mademoiselle. Honestly, how else would I make lists, hone my photography skillz and make more lists? And watch movies? And make lists! And get boys.
I really can’t deal with: pushy, negative or rude people, missing the previews, getting up early, skipping breakfast, rain. No explico necessario.
I really can’t wait for: my Mom to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro! She has decided to go on a fundraising trip to, yes, Mount Kilimanjaro which is (as one of my friends stupidly [sorry, it was stupid] asked..”So..is she going to go to Africa?”) in Africa, and yes she has to go to Africa in order to climb the mountain which is in Africa. Bu-duh. The trip is in October and she is so excited to be fundraising for MSF, getting into shape, looking forward to completing a life dream. I am so ridiculously happy for her. I also can’t wait for summer, Sex and the City 2, the end of this semester and me never EVER having to do calculus or physics EVER again until the MCATS (AHHHHH so excited!!!!), going home tonight to sleep, Thursday night when we’re going to a bubble tea/karaoke/green tea ice cream/arcade/xbox bar in Chinatown.
I really can’t get enough of: How I Met Your Mother (not as funny as it had been made out to be by the entire world, but definitely addictive), pomegranates, Evernote, Lady Gaga, blogging, Cubano sandwiches from Chef on Call (avocado, sauteed mushrooms and garlic mayonnaise on toasty ciabatta with sweet potato fries on the side what up), Montreal, Sinfully Asian spring rolls, my clipboard, my bamboo bed tray, Jake and Amir videos, looking at home design websites, Moleskines, new books.
I really can’t tell you how much I love you. You! All of you. I love you for reading the musings of a silly girl who loves you more than anything. Please keep it up, you make my day.
I decided to also post these funny food pictures. My mom was making stew and had chopped up all sorts of veggies in white bowls. I couldn’t resist taking pictures of them all. I also snuck quite a few sour cherries, which I was yelled at about, certainly.
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Oy vey I’d like a pomegranate right now. Well I have to go now to listen to my friends’ crazy stories from last night and get ready for brunch which is delicious and nutritious and yummy. I can’t wait for some peanut butter-banana cinnamon raisin toast and a smoothie.
YUM.
